When I wake up at 5:30 on a Saturday morning, I’m relieved…
…that it’s not 11:30 p.m. … the night before.
Or 2 in the morning.
Because either of these are possible when my head hits the pillow.
Above: I envy her.
It seems that I don’t know how to sleep in anymore.
Or—to sleep at all!
I just wake up. It’s usually still dark. A bad sign.
The moment my eyelids pry themselves apart, my brain warns me: “Don’t look at your phone. Don’t look at your phone!”
Because it knows that if I do, a few things could happen:
- I’ll be shocked because I only went to bed an hour ago
- I’ll be depressed because it’s far enough into the night that I got my REM sleep and I probably won’t be able to fall unconscious again
- I’ll start reading the NY Times website and lay awake—worried about the state of the world for the next several hours. (If things keep going the way they are, I might not sleep until the next presidential election.)
I ignore my brain and look at my phone. It’s 2:34 a.m.
I’ve slept five whole hours already.
Above: Some guys can sleep anywhere!
The vicious circle of being awake in the middle of the night begins.
I begin my day three hours too early and count the minutes until I can fall asleep on the couch at 8:30 p.m.
(Which is why, in the middle of summer TV reruns, I’m still watching shows that I missed during the regular TV season because they aired at 8:31 p.m.)
I blame my mom for this.
She doesn’t sleep either.
We share a brain that simply doesn’t shut off.
The moment our eyes open, our minds are off and running:
What’s on today’s to-do list?
Above: I’m probably not going to be at a photo shoot today.
As I write this, tomorrow is Saturday. Maybe—if I try really hard—I’ll sleep ’til 7 a.m.
But that would involve me staying up until at least 2 tomorrow morning.
Don’t bet the farm.
Do You Do This Too?
Sometimes I go two or three days and realize a song has been playing in the back of my mind. You too?
“Exes and Ohs” is doing that right now. My Essentrics teacher uses this catch tune to make us forget our arm muscles are burning. (Ha! I’m on to you, Marnie!)
Elle King sings it (she’s SNL alum Rob Schneider’s daughter.) You can’t help but bop along in the seat of the car when you heart it. Give it a listen—it’ll perk you up!
What TV Show Can’t You Miss?
Now that The Americans is almost through for the season, I am counting down to House of Cards.
I can’t wait to see what that rascal Kevin Spacey plans to get away with this year. Boy – imagine if someone like him were really the president…