Don’t pretend you’ve never checked that weird mole on WebMD. Or how to fold meringue on Epicurious. And, there’s no way I’m the only one who clears her search history after looking up how to give a great bl— (Um, that last one’s not important.)
Avery Fowler’s husband is a cheat and her new boss a bitch. So, naturally, she clicks for help. Armed with the Holy Grail of web self-help, HowTo.com, and its virtual life coach Clementine, our heroine tackles such tricky questions as dating after divorce, sex once nothing points north anymore, and becoming the new and improved Avery Fowler 2.0.
It’s been forty-three days, seven hours and twenty-six minutes since reporter Avery Fowler last consulted her favourite website for advice. But after a year of highs, the lows are coming fast. Maybe just this one time…
Dear HowTo.com: Is it hacking if it’s my boyfriend’s computer?
Dear HowTo.com: Do biological clocks have reset buttons? I missed the alarm.
Does Avery have an unhealthy Internet advice dependency? Probably. But it would never steer her wrong.
I’m turning forty tomorrow.
And, don’t tell me that “forty is the new twenty” because, if you do, I’m going to reach out from whatever device you’re reading my blog on, tear your beating heart from your chest, and pummel you unconscious with it.
Um. I just re-read that.
Okay. I might be having a bit of difficulty coming to grips with this “milestone.”
Which sounds quite close to “millstone,” doesn’t it? Which, I suppose, is what another entire decade vanishing in the dust feels like around your neck. And on your slightly sagging ass.)